You think you had it tough during childbirth? You don't have a clue about genital pain.

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The following diatribe was real once. After you read it, stop and think about that. And then realize what pompous inflated douchebags humans really are.


As for the claim that vaginas are tougher than testicles or penis, I disagree. Case in point: Grab a woman's vaginal skin and twist it all the way around, at least 180 degrees (or more!). Do the same with a guy's penis or testicles. I guarantee you the guy will be like "no big deal" because we sit on, poke, prod, twist, and have those things hanging down there taking abuse all day. A woman's vagina? Not so much. Abuse to the vagina is occasional and usually measured, with maybe a few pregnancies to test the limits within a lifetime.

Perhaps a vagina can withstand more abuse without breaking, but when it comes to regular, daily abuse? I think men do a lot more to their exterior organs than women do to their mostly-interior ones. Not to get into TMI-territory here, but I assume this is the same for all guys: I can grab my (non-erect) penis and twist it around a couple times- I mean, like 360 degrees at least-- without feeling any pain whatsoever. It's like motherfarkin' Stretch Armstrong.

Try that shiat with a clitoris.

I've taken more shots to the balls in my life than ANY woman has had pregnancies. I am certain of this. We guys even kick ourselves in the balls with our heels accidentally when we go to sit down with a leg underneath us (or cross-legged). We have those things hanging out down there rubbing against fabric and smacking against every seat we encounter. Any guy who has ever owned a men's bike can tell you at least a dozen stories about why we think that crossbar being that shape on a man's bike is a dumb design choice (honestly, women's crossbars make so much sense for men! No nut shots!) Every guy can tell stories about at least one person in their life who made it a goal to kick them in the nuts.

Testicles take daily, constant, sometimes vicious abuse. Penises take a lot, too (I won't even get into what guys do to their own penis... but trust me: Guys test the thing's limits early in life.)

Vaginas are certainly tough, but tougher than mens' external junk? No. They just don't take anywhere near the levels of daily abuse. It's a wonder our balls aren't huge calloused masses. (ewww)

Now.... If we're talking about pain tolerance when it comes to certain things like menstruation or giving birth? That's a different topic. Women are designed to withstand those types of pain. Men are not. So yeah, if you make a man feel menstrual cramps or labor pains, he'll be in worse agony than a woman going through the same thing. However, let's turn that around: How about we design a machine that lets women experience what it's like to get hit in the balls? I mean, every level and flavor of that particular sensation, from the daily "oops, I smacked them on the edge of the chair" minor pain, to the "that baseball just hit me in the nuts!" pain that will start slow, last, and linger as it comes in waves, to the "riding 30 mph on my bike and hit a rock, causing me to fly upward and then land with my testicles squarely on the metal crossbar" or the even worse "random psycho drove a knee into my balls" pain that could cripple you for life. They should even have a testicular torsion setting.

I bet women would have a greater care and understanding if they knew how amazingly common and yet wholly unpleasant getting hit in the balls is, especially when you have large ones.

Yes, vaginas are super-tough when they need to be, but I'd say male genitals take the prize when it comes to ongoing, daily, necessary resilience.